Helping A Friend

I was walking the dog this morning and a woman was behind me most of the way talking on the phone. I have no idea who was on the other end of the phone or what this persons situation was like but I could hear one side of this conversation.

It gave me some thought for this week's blog. When you see a friend in need of some changes to improve their life, how do you approach it? Do you tell them what they should do? Do you tell them how to do it? What kind of language do you use when talking to them?

For example, the conversation I ease dropped on was this woman telling her friend that she should be exercising and stretching and them told her how to do all of this. I was taking offence just walking near her. The tone was authoritative, the message was clear I know better than you and you should be doing what I say.

People only change if they want to and will only make changes when they are ready. Telling someone how to lose weight, or how to start exercising is futile. Wellcoaching teaches us to ask the right questions and I would like to share some of those with you now so that you might help a friend in need in a better way.

For example you could say, What would you like to do to improve the quality of your life? What are some things that you can do now? What kind of help would you like to make these things happen. Start gentle and let people figure out their own way. Success if much more likely.